You Are a Little Sister

Your dad and I have talked about trying again. Immediately I feel bad thinking of all your stuff on your future sibling. Then I stop myself, I realize if you were here, I would be saving your stuff to pass down to a sibling just as I have done with your sisters, that is, if we decided we were not done expanding our family after you.

You will never be replaced. It’s not possible. You are our Emma, our little poem. Even though you are not physically here with us, we are constantly thinking of you and even talking about you.

I remember Ms. L from child life came and spoke with us early on while you were at Randall’s. She is amazing, but that’s another post... what I want to mention is that she said we will reference you and continue to keep you apart of the family. For example, I was worried about Little Mae not feeling like a big sister. What Ms. L said was, “she will always be a big sister...” she said we will say “what would Emma be doing right now Little Mae? What would you do?” I honestly thought, yeah, sure lady... there was no way that I would be able to act that breezy ever. Well, here we are weeks out and I find myself doing just that. “Here Little Mae, use this spoon, Emma wouldn’t even be big enough to use these baby spoons yet... what do you think Emma would be doing...” it feels nice to talk about you. I didn’t realize that would be something we would or could do. But it makes sense because we are all thinking about you; you are our daughter and the little sister, why wouldn’t we talk about you?

I love you Emma Mae,

Mommy 💜