Reminders of You

Contemplating what to do with all your stuff, Emma. It’s strange. The day you were born I thought I wanted someone to pack up and put away anything that would remind me of you. The clothes, crib, swing, changing table... By day two, I knew I didn’t want anyone to touch anything. I didn’t know how I would handle seeing all of your things but I wanted to be the one to face them. For some it might be helpful to pack things away, and that is ok. Everyone needs to do what is best for them. For me, I realize it doesn’t matter if the swing is up or not, I know you’re not here and looking at it doesn’t make the pain any worse because I would still be thinking it. It’s actually the opposite now. I find comfort in having those things that remind me of you, all around. Looking at all your things reminds me of you and reminds me it’s real; you are real... And although it hurts that you are not here, I smile thinking of my beautiful girl.

Loving you always,

Mommy