My bipolar emotions…

Feeling happiness and deep sadness at the same time is a strage thing. Two opposite emotions now intertwined at every minute. I’m getting more used to it as it is a constant state for me. Your little sister brings so much joy and happiness and we are so blessed, however, every day that goes by is a day I feel further away from you. I want to go back to that NICU room and hold you, smell you, and kiss your little cheeks. We miss you so much Emma.

My mind often wanders and imagines what fun we would be having if you were here with us. You’d be 16 months old now. You would be such a great big sister.

I see a few friends with littles and have been thinking about how you should be here running and playing with their littles. Seeing toddlers around your age bring a smile and then the pain and reminder of what we are missing.

Missing you always,

Love, Mommy